


And He Watched the God

by welcometolotr



Series: The Distant Ages [5]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Blacksmithing, Canonical Character Death, Depression, F/M, Family, Gen, Loneliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-06
Updated: 2013-08-06
Packaged: 2017-12-22 15:51:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/915092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/welcometolotr/pseuds/welcometolotr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Míriel Þerindë hung onto life longer than anyone ever expected, and she made sure that her son knew he was loved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And He Watched the God

“It is a wonder, Father!” Fëanaro declared, drowsy but filled with happiness.

Finwë looked to his precious son perched on his hip and smiled. It had been so long since he’d heard the child say anything remotely happy-sounding, and it brought warmth to his heart. Fëanaro was a lonely young thing, mostly due to his isolation, his mother’s fading, and as he got older, his royal arrogance.  
  
Finwë and Míriel had always wanted children, and her pregnancy had been much looked for and loved. Ingwe, Olwë, and their wives had spent a great deal of time with the couple in the year before she delivered, hoping to be part of the child’s life. All had been ready to celebrate a joyous birth and the first grandchild of any of them, but shortly after Míriel delivered they had known this was not to be. The first birth in Valinor had been a nightmare, and all were incredibly shaken.  They had been very glad when both mother and child had survived the night, but as the week went on it was obvious that Míriel was no longer herself, and true to her words she had passed most of herself and her strength on to her beautiful child. Ingwe was stricken, for he had much loved Míriel as a friend, and shunned the child, unable to watch him play with his father with the strength that should rightly have remained with the mother. Olwë, aware of Ingwe’s troubled heart, let his friend be and stayed by Finwë’s side in order to aid with the elfling in his first years of life. Míriel, not yet devoid of life but not possessing of enough strength to even get out of bed, was assured of her child’s safety and loveliness by the two kings, but still made sure to see her Fëanaro every night without fail, to touch his face and hair and whisper how much she loved him.

As the child grew older, he grew conflicted. He realized at a young age that this was not normal, that someone had done something wrong along the line. For lack of a proper explanation and thanks to his father and uncle’s avoidance of the subject, he varied between suspecting Finwë and Olwë, but since they were his treasured family he never voiced his suspicions.  
Over the years and as he gained in height, he could tell that his mother was fading rapidly, and he went to her side more than just the nights. He watched, silently, as his mother grew ashen and as her hair lost all silver sheen and went whiter than the ocean sands. Eventually, she grew nonresponsive, and nothing he did could wake her from her not-thereness.

He was nineteen.

His father was caught up in his own grief, and Olwë and his wife were in Alqualonde awaiting the birth of their first child. It wouldn’t be possible for them to journey to Tirion until months afterward. Finwë and Fëanaro took it upon themselves to witness Míriel’s journey to the gardens of Lórien and then her open internment. In retrospect, Finwë later realized that he should never have let his son accompany him to see such a thing.  
  
Fëanor withdrew from all, and when Olwë finally made it to Túna, he too was ignored.  
  
In the years following, Finwë attempted to include his son in a variety of social activities in order to pry him from his cold loneliness. Only today had he struck gold, in the form of Aulë’s offer to introduce the boy to metalworking for the first time. The young elf, initially uncomfortable around the gruff-looking and heavily bearded god, warmed up with respect to him after watching the thick fingers shape tiny filigree onto an earring for his spouse. The elfling watched the god without uttering a word until it was time to break the fast. The second the mighty tools were laid to rest, Fëanaro began asking questions so quickly that Aulë could barely keep up.

Watching his child run circles around the smith as they walked up to the palace gates made Finwë certain that in that moment, he was the happiest elf alive. And carrying his small son to bed later in the evening, he felt his soul swell in contentment for the first time since his wife had last closed her eyes.

As for Fëanaro, the last things he was conscious of were his father’s warm hands tucking him into the sheets and smoothing his mother’s hand-stitched duvet down over him.

-x-

 

**Author's Note:**

> I am using Tolkien's original idea that Miriel died during Feanor's childhood and not at his birth (he changed this later, but I wanted to explore it a bit). Also goes along with another of his initial ideas - that Feanor was the first child born of a union between two elves, as opposed to simply coming into being at Cuivienen.  
> Feanor doesn't really like the Vanyar but he has a good relationship with Olwe in canon, so I gave the reasoning for that here.  
> Olwe's first child is, of course, Earwen.


End file.
